RESOLUTION #2: MIND OUTTA THE GUTTER

After yesterday's post, you know that I have resolved to stop letting myself go around any longer looking like an ogre. That's all fine & dandy for what's on the outside, but what about what's on the inside? That's what really counts, right?

Confession, loveys: I have a dirty mind and a sailor mouth and the sense of humor exactly what you might expect of, say, a 14 year-old boy. So my 2nd resolution of 2013 is to tweak that, just a bit. I have started exchanging my curse words for perfectly innocent words, and trying not to end every simple statement with "That's what she said."

But please let me explain. You see, I wasn't always this way. It all started, as most corruptions do, with a boy:




Not so pure.

However, effective yesterday, I'm acting super-mature and totally grown-up. So when my son lost Bullseye today and used a make-shift horse for Woody, I snapped a pic. Not to post on Twitter, mis amigos, but as evidence of my growth:

Where in the helmet is Bullseye when you need him?

Do you also need a mind-scrubbing? How about a little test? Hmm...let's see here. Aha! Take a good look at the pic below. Depending on where your mind drifts upon viewing this image, you too may want to join me in my perversion purge.

What the funhouse?!

And finally, I offer you this test in visual acuity, blog fam. What do you notice in this shot of Shemar Moore? Anything just kinda...stick out?

Must...look...away...

Beautiful scenery, yes. Girly-looking glasses, I agree. But wait. Is that? Why yes, I think it is. My, those shorts are a simply beautiful shade of boner blue!

See? I'm a changed person. Big things in 2013, loveys. Big, beautiful, bulging things in 2013.