UNFOLLOWED? MAYBE THIS IS WHY...

FOLLOWER, PLEASE DON'T GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Who among us hasn't peeked at our Twitter Follower count, only to check back later and get hit with the bitch-slap-sting of realization that we'd been Unfollowed?

Smarts a bit, huh? Initially, I'd mentally retrace my Twitter tracks, wondering "Was it something I said?" or if I'd failed to reply to someone, or perhaps *deep breath here* maybe they just didn't like me.

Just as my old school-days insecurities start to take over, I convince myself only the Twitter-bots dumped me. Yeah. Surely that was it. And I could do without those mo'fo's anyway.

Of course, this is where we come to the uncomfy part. Let he who is without Twitter-sin throw the 1st stone. Have you unfollowed people? *glances over both shoulders* Don't tell anyone, but I have. Tons of times. And I'll tell you why.

First, let me start by promising you that I am not - I repeat, NOT - a person who'll simply follow someone until they follow me back, then drop 'em like a hot tamale. No, that's selfish, and frankly, that'd be too much work, going back and forth to clean house. But I do have 3 deal-breakers, and in no particular order, here they are:

1. Meanies: I can take a joke. I always bag on myself, I sometimes bag on the Kardashians, and I occasionally put my husband's gaffes out there. I enjoy a good funny. But I have unfollowed (more than one) Twitter user for "jokes" that cross the line, in my lil' opinion. Things along the line of rape, homophobia or racism just don't tickle my funnybone. And depending on the 140 characters, I may even block the person. See ya, bye!
2. Twit Validation: I think this contraption irks me more than it should, and I don't know why it bothers me so much, but I will admit that rather than jump through a hoop to hear what someone has to say, I'll always opt to unfollow instead. It just seems offensive, since the whole point is socialization. As much as I hate spammers, I just couldn't bring myself to hope for followers, then turn around and electronically frisk 'em when they do follow me. But that's just me.
3. Overly repetitive: I love the writing community. I enjoy the way people band together to help each other get more followers or book reviews or book sales. Love it. But when you're following hundreds of writers, you want to be able to see their posts in your timeline. Am I right? So when the same person sends 50 Tweets at a time, either for their own promotion, or a flurry of rehashed dead people's quotes, or worse, to detail every. single. minute of their day ("I'm awake." "I'm dressed." "I'm at school." "Leaving school." "Pasta for dinner." "Dessert time!" "Watching tv."), I'm outta there. I'm sorry, but to fill my timeline with mundane things like that, when I could be reading people's tweets who make me laugh, or inspire me to work out, or intrigue me into buying their books? There's no contest between who I'll stick with. (But I still love you! Just from way over here.)

I think the promotional Auto-DM's are annoying, but I can roll with it. I think people who #FF every single follower they have is annoying (and not at-all sincere), but I can roll with that too.

Of course, I've been unfollowed, dozens of times. Who hasn't? Nothing personal, and I can roll with that as well.

But these are just my own nit-picky issues. I've made a full confession, and I feel better. To repent, I shall go follow another 50 people or something. But those 50 had better bring it.