I was thinking of you guys, however, today when I miscalculated a step and nearly broke my butt bone in two. I've come to realize there is an ever-widening distance between me and that jackass called Gravity. It's not even because I'm old; nor because I'm probably legally blind.
Typically I'm just walking along, minding my own biz, when out of nowhere, the freaking floor jumps up and bitch-slaps me in the face! It happens to the best of us, though. Same thing happened to Nicole Richie recently.
|That ground came out of nowhere!|
I mean, even Justin Bieber can laugh at himself:
|Who the hell put see-through glass on this door?!|
|It's all good if the hair's still okay.|
I mean, just look at Lady Gaga; Minding her own biz, swaggin' it through the airport and rocking a super-sensible and appropriate travel look,
|Same look you or I might rock to the laundromat. No biggie.|
It's funny, and it's entertaining. I get that. But loveys, when is enough going to be enough?
|Leave our national treasures alone! |
*shakes fist at gravity*
|"Hi-yah! Take that, concrete!"|
And I don't know about you, but I personally like to windmill my arms on the way down, for maximum embarrassment. Like this chick:
|In case your fall was too discreet, flail |
your arms like you're on fire, like we do.
(That's how I imagine an English model cursing.)
Yours in clumsiness,