Tuesday, January 1, 2013


I'm not big on resolutions, loveys. No, siree.

Oh, but I am big on making promises to myself I'll never keep. I'm fantastic at listing them out on the prettiest paper on hand, writing down the last detail of my new exercise regime, and creating shopping lists for the ingredients I'll need for my latest, sure-fire diet plan. I am even a regular "pinner" of something of-the-moment that strikes me as brilliant.

Yes, I'm at super-duper at planning to take my level of awesome up a notch.

It's the execution part I suck at.

You know what really sucks though? Vacuums, vampires, and algae fish.

Wait, I digress. (You guys know my attention span is gone in a blink.) What was I talking about again? Oh, yes. Actually carrying out something I intend to do.

This year, no grand plans or fancy-pants ideas for me. Nope. I will not vow to lose 30 pounds in 2013. I'm not promising myself to travel Europe this year. And I refuse to marry Nelly, no matter how much he begs! (Well, unless the ring is massive, like Khloe Kardashian sick.)

Eww! Am I right, ladies?

This year, I will simply tell myself, "Self, we're gonna try harder."

That's it.

Not kill my body with some ridiculous P90X, or deprive myself of less than 4,000 calories a day.
I'll just try a teensy bit harder.

First step to a Kick-Ass 2013:
Look more presentable.

Loveys, I have no issue running around town with no makeup on, or wearing uncombed hair pulled into a bun, and rocking the same sweats I wore throughout my last pregnancy 4 years ago. I don't mind a bit. However, recent events have made me rethink my firm position of complete comfort despite looking like shit.

1) I realized I'm ugly enough to scare small children.

A face that could put scarecrows out of a job.


2) I actually ran into Nelly not long ago. I am saddened to report it wasn't really lust love at first sight for him, loveys. *wipes tear* I don't know if I came on too strong, or because I couldn't get through his bodyguard, or if it had more to do with me looking like this:

'Swimfan' all over again.
Baby steps, fam. Baby steps.

Let's rock these next 365 days, loveys. Happy New Year!

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